Copernicus
by AudioAesthetic
Summary: Copernicus discovered that the universe does not revolve around the earth. Remus Lupin must learn that it also does not revolve around the moon. Eventual Remus/Tonks
1. Halcyon

Title: Copernicus  
Author: AudioAesthetic  
Summary: Copernicus discovered that the universe does not revolve around the Earth. Remus Lupin must learn that it also does not revolve around the moon.  
Rating: T  
A/N: I've been meaning to write something like this for a while, but I couldn't settle on a character, and then on a title I liked, and then on a first chapter. But, here it is. I've decided on Remus. I hope you all like it.  
By the way, the almost diary-esque style is blatantly stolen from the story Kindred, which is on my Favorites list. You should definitely check it out, it's fantastic.  
Enjoy! Audio.

* * *

_Chapter One  
Halcyon_

10 March, 1960

Remus J. Lupin was born

25 December, 1962

Remus's first memory was of his mother passing out presents to his cousins. He got his presents later, in private, because they moved and changed color and did other interesting things. Remus wondered why his cousins' presents didn't.

July, 1964, or thereabouts

Remus stood in the kitchen, eating strawberries and getting them all over his face. Mother clucked her tongue in fond disapproval and with a swish of her wand, his face was clean.

Father watched this with interest, and Remus wondered why he never saw Father with a wand. Perhaps there was something special about Mother.

August, 1965

Father and Mother argued in the kitchen about Remus. They didn't say his name, but he knew it was about him.

"He has to go to school," Father said many times. "How will he learn to read and write and do sums?"

"We'll get him a tutor," Mother announced, "or send him to a nursery school like any normal child - "

"_Normal_ children do not turn their aunt blue when she steps on their favorite toy," Father pointed out, and Remus's ears turned red from where he listened behind the door. "They also go to school. Perhaps it will help him. Perhaps he will..."

"Perhaps then he'll be normal?" Mother wondered in an awkward, high pitched voice. "Perhaps then he won't be a freak?"

"I don't think you or he... Miranda!"

Mother found Remus hiding behind the door when she stalked from the room. She was crying. Remus reached for her to comfort her as she knelt down and grasped him by the shoulders. She looked him in the eye. She always did.

"Would you like to go to school, Remus?" she asked, and he wanted to brush away the tears from her cheeks. "You could meet children, but you would always be... different from them."

Remus had his cousins, but they were older than he, and he had never really known what it was like to be around other children. He knewsomehow that being "different" will be scary, but Father had always been different from Mother, and he still loved Father, didn't he?

"School... might be fun, right?" he asked hopefully, and felt instantly like he'd said the wrong thing.

1st September, 1965

Mother dressed him in what she called "Muggle clothes" with some disgust - corduroy pants and a blue jumper. "I'd like to come see you off," she saidas he tied his shoes all by himself, "but I couldn't feel comfortable in that sort of attire, and I don't want you to begin your first day with all the kids thinking that your mother is some sort of..."

She didn't finish the sentence, but Remus thought, _freak_ before he could stop himself.

"Anyway," Mother shook her head and smiled, "I'll be there when you go to Hogwarts. That will be much better than this, wait and see."

Mother had done nothing but talk about Hogwarts since Remus decided to go to school. It didsound like a wonderful place, but the talk upset Father. Remus could tell. Still, it was nice to hear the stories.

Mother waved from the front door as Father took Remus down the street. Father talked about the benefits of school on a child's psychological developement - Remus thought he understood some of it but might have beed kidding himself.

They reached the school where children were playing in the yard. Some were swinging and some were sliding and still others were playing jacks and hopscotch. None of them were playing Gobstones. None of them had toy broomsticks. None of them were swapping Chocolate Frog Cards (which was just as well, really, as Father wouldn't let Remus bring his along). Remus wasn't sure he knew _how_ to play with these children.

They met the teacher, Miss Bell, and she assured Father with a smile that she would watch out for Remus and make sure the other children wouldn't pick on him. Father told him to have a good day and not get into trouble, and with a nostalgic sort of smile, left the playground.

"Here, Remus, why don't you come play with Terrence and Graham?" Miss Bell said, guiding him to the sandbox. A blond boy and a boy with freckles on his nose looked up as they approached. "Terrence, Graham, this is Remus. Why don't you let him help you make a sand castle?"

She left them alone too, and Remus was beginning to resent adults for leaving him, because Terrence is staring and Graham won't look at him at all.

"Remus is a funny name," Terrence said finally.

Remus shruged and shuffled his feet. "My mum gave it to me."

"Well, of course, dummy," said Terrence. "Who else woulda done it?"

Remus was stumped with that one. Graham now caught his eye, and Remus blushed. He was thinking about changing his mind and running back home and telling his mother that school was definitely not the right place for him, when Graham finally spoke.

"Wanna build a sand castle?" Graham offered. Terrence pouted.

"Him?" he said, "but he's got a stupid name."

"Well, I think Terrence is a stupid name," Graham countered. "It sounds like a snail's name. Or a frog. And I want to build a sandcastle, and I betchoo frogs would make horrible sandcastles, so I want to build it with Remus."

Remus blinked and Terrence scowled.

"Fine, then," he said, "I hope sand gets in your underpants!"

He stalked away. Remus smiled at Graham appreciatively. "Thanks," he said.

"No problem. Now, come on, grab a shovel before we have to go inside."

The sandcastles kids built at the park Mother takes him too were much more elaborate, and occasionally, if the child had enchanted toys, there were moving sand figures inside them. They were more like sand dollhouses than castles sometimes. But Graham directed Remus very well in their undertaking, and Remus would say it didn't turn out half bad.

Graham was in first grade, not kindergarten, so he left Remus to go to his classroom, and Terrence glared at him throughout the morning, but by the end of the day Remus was feeling pretty good about going to school.

10 March, 1966

For his sixth birthday, Father gave Remus books about someone named Dick and Jane and attempted to teach him to read. Remus liked his mother's gifts better - a Screaming Yo-Yo and an issue of a new comic series, Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle.

The last one caused Mother and Father to have a row.

"It's offensive!" Father shouted. "He'll grow up thinking we're all blundering idiots!"

"He won't!" Mother yelled back. Remus wondered if they knew he didn't have to hide behind the door to hear them anymore. "He's around them all day, every day. If anything he'll grow up not knowing who he really is, having no connection to the wizarding world, and feeling completely out of place in his own home!"

"_This_ is his home!" Father's anger scared Remus. "_I_ am part of his home! Whether you like it or not, half of him isn't magical. Half of who he is is exactly like me!"

Remus couldn't listen anymore. He ran outside, into the woods in their yard and sat in a tree and tried very hard to think about sandcastles and Graham, instead of who he was.

8 June, 1966

Remus missed school, but found summer oddly liberating. Mother let him ride a toy broomstick around the back yard when Father was at work, where the neighbors couldn't see. She took him to the park, and made him lemonade, and in the evening, he ran around catching fireflies for her.

She waved her wand at them absently, and they began a sychronized sort of dance. Remus watched in amazement.

"When can I learn to do that?" he asked in awe.

"When you go to Hogwarts," Mother replied, placing him on the porch swing beside her. She closed her eyes and put an arm around his shoulders. Remus began to watch her eyelashes flutter slightly, instead of the fireflies. "Oh, Remus. You'll love it there. You'll learn to control magic, and by controlling magic, you can control everything."

Remus wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. Father didn't seem to like being controlled, and he obviously couldn't do magic like Mother can. Remus had never seen him so much as touch a wand.

"Why isn't Father a wizard?" Remus wondered. Mother sighed.

"Because that's the way the world works sometimes, dear," she answered, seeming fatigued. "I met your father after I graduated Hogwarts and began travelling around England for a while. I fell in love with him before I knew he was a Muggle. He was very handsome, your father."

She giggleed a little, and sounded like the girls at school. Remus wasn't sure he appreciated it.

"It didn't really matter for a while," she continued, "that he wasn't a wizard, but after we had you... But that's not the point, is it? The point is, you're a wizard, whether or not your father is, as much a wizard as anybody else, and don't you ever let anybody tell you otherwise, promise?"

Remus nodded, then realized that her eyes were still closed. "I promise," he said out loud, and felt something like... well, a lot like magic float between them when he said it.

They passed the rest of the evening until Father got home talking about Hogwarts and the Houses and how exciting it would be if Remus was in Slytherin like his mother had been. She would love him anyway, she said, even if he was in Gryffindor, though she might have to stop writing for a while if they won the House Cup.

She laughed as she said this, and Remus laughed along with her, and it felt good to be alive.


	2. Lycanthropy

Chapter Two  
Lycanthropy

September, 1966

School wasnot in session for even two weeks when Graham announced his birthday party. Remus proudly displayed the invitation to his father, who instantly gave him permission to go. Mother, however, was more hesitant.

"What do Muggles... do at their birthday parties?" she wondered.

"I assume it's the same thing your folks do," Father answered warily. Remus could feel the imminent fight in the air like lightning. "The boy's parents aren't going to let them play with firecrackers or run with scissors. You don't have to worry."

Mother didn't seem convinced, but after a few days of a nagging Father and a sullen Remus, she gave him her permission as well. Remus bought Graham a rugby ball at Father's suggestion, and learned the rules to Pin the Tail on the Donkey and the words to Happy Birthday.

25 September, 1966

The day finally arrived, and Father walked Remus to Graham's house, allowing him to badger incessantly about how much fun he was going to have. Remus sawthe balloons on the mailbox and rang the doorbell himself.

A plump, straw-haired woman opened the door with a kind smile. "You must be Remus! Graham talks about you all the time. He says you make the best sandcastles of anybody."

Remus blushed, and wanted to say that it was Graham who designed them, Remus just made them stay up, but he was too embarrassed.

"He'll be one of the youngest here, I hope you know," Graham's mother informed Father.

"That doesn't matter," Father said. "Remus really likes your son. Have fun, Remus."

Inside, children ran about the sun room, laughing and chattering. Graham rejoiceed at seeing him, and showed him off to all his friends, and opened his present first, right in front of everybody. Graham's mother gave him a huge piece of the chocolate cake and extra ice cream, and all the rest of the kids knew he was Graham's best friend, Remus.

He could remember being happy like this, but he couldn't ever remember belonging.

"Let's play Truth or Dare!" suggested a boy named Stevie. None of them knew what that is. "My brother plays it. What happens is, I'll ask one of you and you pick Truth or Dare. If you pick Truth you have to answer a question. If you pick Dare, you have to do whatever I dare you to do. Then it's your turn."

They agreed that it sounded like fun. The girls and some of the boys picked Truth, which was boring, but Graham and other brave boys picked Dare. They were dared to make strange noises and allow themselves to be tickled for minutes on end and eat all sorts of indescribable things, but the brave ones did it without flinching.

Finally, it was Remus's turn. "Dare," he annouced proudly. Graham grinned at him.

"I dare you to..." The boy paused to peer outside. It was getting dark out. "I dare you to go as far into the woods as you can."

Remus instantly felt queasy. He wasn't allowed in the woods after dark. Mother said bad things could happen, that he could get lost, or hurt, and they'd never be able to find him again.

But Graham was grinning at him expectantly, and he was supposed to be Graham's best friend, and he wasn't about to disappoint him. He remembered the look on Mother's face when he said he wanted to go to school, and didn't ever want Graham to look like that.

He lead the group outside, where they proudly stood by the edge of the woods. Graham set him on a path, and Remus looked back only once, to be sure they were still there.

"Come back if you get scared," Graham whispered to him before he leaves. "And come back soon, too."

Remus nodded and was off, taking every step with confidence and vigour.

The woods behind Remus's own house were more familiar to him, but he had the idea that all woods are basically the same. The more steps he took, however, revealed to him that he was quite mistaken. He stumbled on a root, and somewhere along the line, lost the thin, winding path he was supposed to follow. Each step made him shiver with nerves and soon, terror. He didn't know how long he had been gone, but the moon was high in the sky.

"At least it's a full moon," he said out loud, to calm himself, thankful for the light that it provides.

A twig broke. Remus stopped walking and could feel his heart in his throat.

A wolf, somwhere, howled. Another answered the call. Remus stood very, very still, but his breathing was heavy and ragged and he was sure it could be heard from miles away.

He heard rustling behind him, and spun around. A bush. Just a bush in the wind. But... are those eyes?

The orbs glowed yellow, and he knew they're staring directly at him, and he held as still as he could, and even held his breath. It was a contest of wills to see which would break into a run first, Remus or the eyes.

The eyes won. As soon as his lungs began to burn with a need for air, he turned and sprinted through the dark trees. He heard the beast lumbering behind him, howling at the full moon.

Remus did not make much of a chase. His tiny six-year-old legs were no match for what appeared to be a giant, savage wolf, and it overtook him, pinning him by the shoulders to a tree. For a moment, Remus looked deep into the beasts eyes, and wanted to beg for mercy, for forgiveness of whatever sin forced this upon him. He didn't know why, because pleading to a wolf would not help him, but it felt like more than a beast looking deep at him.

For a brief moment, the wolf seemed like it was smiling at him cruelly beneath those terrible, yellow eyes.

The next thing Remus knew, there were long, vicious teeth sinking into his shoulder, ripping flesh and tearing sinew. He screamed loud, shrill screams at the pain, but soon it was so intense he couldn't even feel it. His body was numb.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Remus heard a wolf howl to the moon. The beast paused to look at the sky, ellicited a wild ululation in return, and, without so much as a look back, ran into the abyss of the woods surrounding them.

Remus slumped to the ground, unable to keep himself upright, clutching his broken shoulder. His last image before falling into pain-induced unconsciousness, was of the full and vibrant moon through the trees.

26 September, 1966 - before dawn

Remus woke for a moment to his mother's blurry face over him. She was crying and said over and over again, "Remus, oh, Remus, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

She picked him up and he received another lightning bolt of pain from his shoulder, and was again out cold.

26 September-7 October, 1966

Remus floated in and out of consciousness, never opening his eyes, and only hearing snippets of conversations.

"I don't understand," said Father's voice. "It wasn't a wolf that got him?"

"It wasn't," said an unfamiliar voice that sounds like the briskness of cold rain. "I'm afraid it was more than that."

Something was said that Remus doesn't catch, and Mother began to sob.

"But those are just... just fairy tales!" Father cried.

"They're not," said Mother. "They're not, they're not..."

Later, he awoke to Mother singing:

_"Sleep, little moonshine, sleep safe and sleep sound,  
Let no hags and no demons run you aground,  
My wand will protect you from the fears of the night,  
So sleep sound, little moonshine, sleep tight._"

Still later, or perhaps earlier, the memories ran together in his brain, he hears Mother and Father argued.

"Why did you tell them something like that?"

"They should be warned! What if their children were to... I can't let that happen."

"You at least didn't have the fool idea of telling them it was a werewolf, did you?" Mother demanded.

"Of course not. Of course not. Would they have believed me if I had?" There was a pause, and Remus's skin could almost feel their tearful stares. "I still think we should take him to a hospital."

"There's nothing they can do. He would be shunned by them. There's nothing they can do but condemn him."

Remus did not have the cognitive ability to connect any of these conversations to himself, and he didn't try to work them out. All he did was find sanctuary in the blissful, painless sleep that surrounded him.

8 October, 1966

Remus heard Mother's breathing long before he felt strong enough to open his eyes. He was lying in his parents' bed, surrounded by pillows and water. Mother was sleeping in the chair beside the bed. Through the window poured twighlight and a cool breeze.

The first thing he thought was, _I'm hungry_, but he could not lift his head.

He heard Father conversing with the same brisk, rain voice in the hallway that he had heard before, but couldn't see them or understand what they were saying. Soon, Father and a tall, auburn haired wizard entered and Father, seeing him awake, rushed to his side.

The wizard seemed amused rather than surprised at Remus's consciousness. "Ah," he said, "you're awake."

"Thank God," said Father, and Mother stirs in her chair. She let out a shriek upon seeing Remus, and rushed to the opposite side of the bed. She held his hand and stroked his hair.

"We were so worried," she said. "Thank Merlin you're all right."

"Remus," said the wizard from what felt like far away. Remus wiggled his toes experimentally, only half paying attention. His shoulder felt worlds better. The wizard continued, "My name is Charlemagne Bones. I'm a Healer, and I'm going to be checking in on you for a few weeks."

Remus scrunched his nose. "What do I need a Healer for?" Really, his shoulder felt better.

Father and Mother exchanged the uncomfortable looks that grown-ups gave each other when they were about to lie to him. Remus scowled. Healer Bones smiled at him knowingly.

"Do you remember being bitten, Remus?" he asked, gently. Remus nodded. Father looked like he was about to protest, but Mother hushed him with a glance. "Well, Remus, the creature that bit you... it wasn't a wolf, exactly. It's what's called a werewolf."

Remus's eyes widened. "But... but in the stories, people bitten by werewolves became..."

Healer Bones nodded solemnly but without apology. Remus looked to Mother and then to Father for any sign that it wasn't true. Mother grew tearful, and Father stared at Remus's quilt.

"What will... happen to me?"

"Every full moon, you'll morph into a wolf-like, highly dangerous, uncontrollable animal," Healer Bones explained carefully. "Many people... how do I put this?... Most wizards view people in your current state as being too dangerous to associate with."

"What does that mean?" Remus wondered, looking to Mother, who was crying.

"It means that... normal life will be hardly possible for you, Remus." Father looked meaningfully at him. "It means, for one, that it will be hard to find a job, that it will be almost impossible to find friends, and that you will not be able to attend school when you are eleven."

No.

"Take it back," Remus demanded, clenching the quilt into his fists. "Take it _back_."

"There's no cure for the disease, lycanthropy," Healer Bones continued, ignoring the boy's pleas as if they weren't even there. "There's not much we can do about it except put you in a safe place during the full moon, where you cannot hurt yourself or others. There is not such a place at Hogwarts."

"Stop it." Remus shut his eyes and thought of good things, like firefly dances and Mother singing. _Sleep sound, my moonshine, sleep tight..._ "I don't believe you. Take it _back!_"

"He can't take it back, honey," Mother whispered. "It's true."

"Go away!" Remus screamed, throwing himself into the pillow. "Go away, I hate you! I hate all of you. Go _away!_"

They left him to himself. "Did you have to tell him so suddenly?" he heard Mother demand. "He's been looking forward to Hogwarts since he was an infant!"

"Only because you forced the idea into his head so hard," Father countered. "He deserves to know the _truth_, Miranda, the truth about what he's become!"

"He hasn't become anything! He's Remus, my baby Remus, and he's _not_ a monster!"

Remus cried as he listened to Healer Bones tell Mother and Father how things were going to be, but didn't care about any of it. Hogwarts was gone. _His_ Hogwarts.

Remus had to be a monster for that to be taken away from him. There was no other explanation.


End file.
